My roles have taken over my life.  Seems that "me time" has been overtaken by all of the little things that keep a family running.  That is my excuse for my absence.  God is growing me, I keep telling myself this as I gravitate toward frustration with the lack of time to process anything.  This is the reality of adulthood.

Give me Your hope.  Fill me with self-love that only You can give.  Guide me as I walk along the path to fulfillment of your purpose for my life.  Provide hope, strength and peace for tomorrow.  Show me the endurance that I can have when I let you carry me, cradle me, and hold my hand through my day.  Impress me with a world that comes to life when You're the one steering. 

Writing proves to be my best way of communication with God.  Must never go anywhere without my journal, which is my brain; Everything can be thought out and remembered. 

I'm so tired of being tired.  What happened to my energy?  I started taking vitamins; Maybe that will give me the boost I need.  Also, I managed to grow a 7 mm stone-like solid in my kidney over this last year.  I wonder, can they sprout when watered with enough stress?  It is currently residing in my bladder and literally has been the thorn in my side for the last 4 months but only knowingly for the last week.  I'm not exactly sure what a 7 mm stone looks like but apparently anything larger than 5 mm is too big to get rid of without medical assistance.  

12:15 proves to be too late for the 21-year-old who feels like a 30-year-old, looks like a 15-year-old without a child at her side, and gets along best with 50-year-olds.  Emily learned how to say "no" last week.  That's all for me tonight: Really, I am not, at the moment, as pensive as this entry reads.         

On my "to read, finish, or reread in the near future" list:
Lamb
Ruthless Trust
The Gospels
A River Runs Through It
Blue Like Jazz
Velvet Elvis
Sex, God
Ender's Shadow 
By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept
Inside Out
Soul Healing
A Prayer for Owen Meany
I Know This Much is True
The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing
Let Your Life Speak
The Summons
Discipline
If Only He Knew
Adult ADD
Scattered
(Order yet to be determined and the list is likely to change and is guaranteed to lengthen.)

Also, I need to start exercising again.  That's one thing from pre-Amanda-is-now-a-mom-and-wife that I would like to bring back to the present.  I'm not so sure about art yet.  I would like to, like I would like to join a soccer team, but there isn't enough time for such things.  I have a "running partner" offer from a friend training for a triathalon.  However, I'm thinking that walking up the stairs holding two 25 pound children should be conquered first, not to mention being able to run a few miles.  It'd be pretty sweet to run a marathon one day.  Let Us take on and conquer tomorrow first.